Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
