Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
