I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Found the puke drawer
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
