Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
