One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
