bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
that may or may not have been my penis.
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