it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
