i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
