Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
