Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
