Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
