I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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