I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
