debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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