he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
