Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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