Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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