after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
