I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
