I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
