And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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