This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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