whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
