he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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