3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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