Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
