I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
