Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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