i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We are two peas in an std pod
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
