My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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