we're blogging at a bar
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
