I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
