Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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