:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
