it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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