He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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