Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
