Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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