I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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