i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
