i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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