i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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