i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
