Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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