Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
