my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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