i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
