i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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