omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
