Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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